I kind of find I like a life this lonely
It rips and pierces me, in places I can't see
I love the rip of nerves
The rip that wakes me
So I'm dissatisfied, I love dissatisfied
I love to feel there's always more that I need"
- Come On Home by Franz Ferdinand
Again I do in a sense live alone. I kinda like this guy Hunter Brown. . One of my friends Melinda Butler; even thought she had mood swings she always had a certain part of her that was caring...
It was that time when I was in 7th Grade, He was in 8th and she was dating him-Hunter Brown. I was hanging out with Dorothy and Jocelyn. Melinda walked up to me, she pointed at Hunter and said do you like him? I said yeah i guess. I'm gonna hook you up with him she said. He came over and talked to me for a while and i was kinda like ok this boy is cute but i don't know there's just something about him. the next day he came up to me and said we will never ever be together in our life time. I said ok and went on with my life i basically forgot about him.
High school...9th grade--I had to do a project for world history. the project was on secret societies, this boy comes out of the blue. he's all nice to me like he knows me. he helps me with my history project. I demanded to Dominic whom has been my long time Confidant since 2nd grade to tell me the name of the boy. he simply said Hunter Brown... I then recalled all the memories i had in 7th grade. he would go down stairs to the freshman's hallway and say hello he then dated Torri Gilbert and she broke up with him because as quote from her face "I don't go white." even thought she's white herself. during the time Torri dated Hunter I was very mad because unlike the David gray thing she didn't know i liked him. that liked soon turned into love. and so i would say I loved him. I really didn't know why i loved hunter brown. i guess cos of the thought i had of a forbidden love affair thing going on. then when i told him i like him, he disappeared.
school is almost over and i found out he dropped out of school and works at walmart as a cart pusher, i figured i should tell him the truth--i still love him and i have never looked at another boy the way i looked at him (even though i have but i don't really count David Gray anymore). I do and he says he has a girlfriend and even if we did go out it wouldn't work out between us.
Now--I don't really say i love him anymore or that i really like him. i just say i kinda like him because--
A. i think he smokes (or at least he have given me the impression that he smokes)
B. he has a girlfriend (well he just said this, i haven't met her)
and
C. I feel so nervous when i'm around him...Like flirtatiously nervous.
High school...9th grade--I had to do a project for world history. the project was on secret societies, this boy comes out of the blue. he's all nice to me like he knows me. he helps me with my history project. I demanded to Dominic whom has been my long time Confidant since 2nd grade to tell me the name of the boy. he simply said Hunter Brown... I then recalled all the memories i had in 7th grade. he would go down stairs to the freshman's hallway and say hello he then dated Torri Gilbert and she broke up with him because as quote from her face "I don't go white." even thought she's white herself. during the time Torri dated Hunter I was very mad because unlike the David gray thing she didn't know i liked him. that liked soon turned into love. and so i would say I loved him. I really didn't know why i loved hunter brown. i guess cos of the thought i had of a forbidden love affair thing going on. then when i told him i like him, he disappeared.
school is almost over and i found out he dropped out of school and works at walmart as a cart pusher, i figured i should tell him the truth--i still love him and i have never looked at another boy the way i looked at him (even though i have but i don't really count David Gray anymore). I do and he says he has a girlfriend and even if we did go out it wouldn't work out between us.
Now--I don't really say i love him anymore or that i really like him. i just say i kinda like him because--
A. i think he smokes (or at least he have given me the impression that he smokes)
B. he has a girlfriend (well he just said this, i haven't met her)
and
C. I feel so nervous when i'm around him...Like flirtatiously nervous.
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