I Live Alone

"I was 22, alone with nothing to do and I couldn’t free
'Cause all those cold days returned with their old ways of causing
New apathy

I live alone, I live alone

She was 21, wishing she lived by the sun, the sand and the sea
So I suggested she’d move out fast and not be the last
To leave and be free

I live alone, I live alone
I live alone, I live alone

Sweet summer day
I’m so afraid
So take me away

We were 17, longing to live in between
The earth and the stars
So I suggested we’d grow up fast and not be the last
And look where we are
With no connection I saw your reflection at home
In my bedroom mirror
And I felt young again when I saw what we could’ve been
In all of those years

I live alone, I live alone
I live alone, I live alone" 

- I Live Alone By Sky Sailing


The Song for me is technically true in a sense I do live alone. When I get infatuated with a boy, I'm very shy and flirtatious. I'm not one of those 'I hate you so much I love you' type girls. I really kind and introverted, if you get to know me better.
I'm an artist in such a way that I'm not an artist. I had a few flings in my past, but I guess it's because i always rush everything. When I meet the 'so-called-perfect-soon-to-be-boyfriend', I try and try to slow things down, but always in the end rushing everything then I end up being made fun of cos I liked that boy.
     For Example: Dakota Rawlins, I actually hated him at first really because he was one of those popular pretty boys that all the girls fonded over. He had this 'comb-and-swoop' hair style (Ya know that one that Justin Bieber has...) that he'd like to always 'swoop' on occasion. Then, the moment came when I had this 'I-Just-Want-To-Melt-In-Ecstasy' dream about him.


As I quoted in a previous blog:


"I was in the bathroom and out of surprise, Dakota pushes me against the wall.
He restrains me by putting his right hand/arm around my waist and gripping my left wrist really hard against the wall. He then proceeded to start kissing my neck and would not stop. I, myself was so weak against him, even my hand stopped pushing him."


After that dream/nightmare, I became infatuated with him. I drew a picture of him because in my artist vision: his looks were quite compelling. Then High School came... I asked him out and he said no. Don't even get me started on who influenced me to ask him out.